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 You are the reason behind the hindrance

Sitting by myself, saddened with the news of Muslims and the calamity that happened to them, I heard a voice from within me (my inner self) saying: You are the one to blame. You are the reason why we don’t have victory. You are a main factor in what Muslims are facing now.

I answered back:& Me! How come!& I am just a weak servant of Allah, a servant who has no power in his hands.& If I tried to order people, they will never listen. If I even tried to advise them, they will not take my advice.

Quickly this voice came back interrupting me: It’s your sins that have exhausted the angel on your left: he is tired and bored of writing down the sins in your book.
It’s your day and night battle against Allah by disobeying him. It’s you running away from the good deeds and insisting on doing the sins.

Me: And what did I do to blame me for all this; to say that I setback the victory for Muslims?

My Inner Self: Servant of Allah, by the name of Allah, if I start counting what you do now, it will be too long before we finish. But let me ask you, do you pray Al-Fajr (dawn prayer) in congregation (Jama3ah)?

Me: Yes sometimes, and other times I miss it.

My Inner Self (interrupting): See! This is the point; you contradict yourself. How do you claim that you can go for Jihad (fighting the enemy) when you failed in self-Jihad, the Jihad with oneself that doesn’t cost you any life or any money? It only costs you few minutes to pray two rakaat that are mandatory from Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) Al-Wahed Al-Kahar. How do you ask for Jihad when you can’t maintain the five prayers everyday? When you can’t follow the Sunnah prayers? When you don’t read some ayat of Quran everyday? When you forget about the morning and evening zikr? When you can’t prevent yourself from looking at what God has forbidden? When you are not kind to your parents? When you don’t maintain good ties with your relatives?

How do you ask for applying Al-Shariah (Islamic Law) in your country when you don’t apply it to yourself or to your family? You don’t fear Allah when dealing with your family, you don’t help them follow the right path, you don’t care for feeding them from money that comes from good means (Halal) and by doing that you are among the people that Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) said about them “And you love wealth with inordinate love”. So, you lied, cheated and broke your oath and now you deserve the punishment of Allah.

Me (interrupting): And what does that have to do with victory? Can one Muslim setback the victory of a whole nation of one billion?

My Inner Self: Oh ya!! Of course, for there is hundreds of millions like you - except for the ones that Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) has blessed – hundreds of millions that follow your same concept. They don’t care about obeying Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala). They don’t fear Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) and they all ask Allah for victory because there are other Muslims who are better believers.
But the painful truth is that all are just as bad –except for those whom Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) have mercy upon-
Don’t you know, O servant of Allah, that when the companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked for victory and didn’t get it, they knew that among their army there was someone who had done a wrong deed.
So how about a nation that is engaged in all kinds of sins, small and big, trivial and major. Can’t you see what has happened to this nation from east to west?

Deeply touched with tears in my eyes, for I never imagined that I, the man who loves Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) and the Prophet (peace be upon him), who loves Islam and all Muslims, might be one of the reasons for the failure of Muslims. That I might be participating in the blood bath of innocent Muslims in many of the Muslim lands.

It has always been easy for me to blame a leader, a prince, a minister or anyone responsible in the country. But I have never thought of my mistakes first and I have never considered what Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) has said “Verily Allah will never change a condition of a nation until they change it themselves”.

So I told myself: Thanks Allah, he gave me this self-reproaching spirit. Allah calls to witness it in the Quran till the Judgment Day.
Then I asked: what do you advise me to do?

My Inner Self: Start with yourself. Pray the mandatory, the 5 prayers in time. Pay Al-Zakat. Be kind to your parents. Try to get closer to Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) by praying Al-Sunnah. Take every chance to get closer to Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) even if it is trivial. Remember that a smile on your face is a sadaqah (charity). Don’t ask people to do anything that you yourself don’t apply.
Don’t start asking for applying Al-Shariaah except when you are a good example in applying it at home and at work. Don’t ask the leaders for announcing jihad when you have failed in jihad with yourself. Don’t run away from responsibility by blaming others. Change yourself first and then others will follow you. Be a good example wherever you go. If you spend your time blaming others, please stop doing it - Thanks a lot – May Allah reward you – For, there is already a lot of critics out there. Always start by changing yourself. After that ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) sincerely to give you victory and to aid all Muslims who followed the same path. This way you are among the ones that Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) mentioned in the Quran:& “If you will aid (the cause of) Allah, He will aid you, and plant your feet firmly”.

I raised my face to Allah asking him for forgiveness and dried my tears saying: O Allah: it is repentance (Tawbah). I come back to you, let us open a new page, a new life that I start with two rakaat in the middle of the night, asking Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) to bless me always with Salat Al-Qiyam.